Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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