For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize