That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
