..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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