He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
