I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
