ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
