dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
