My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Success! We fucked roommates!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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