i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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