i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
