yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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