I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it's like iHOP with fire
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
