I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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