we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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