If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
