My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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