Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize