He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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