I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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