I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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