I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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