yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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