Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
