I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
