they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
