If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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