I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
