Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize