She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
