Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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