Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
