1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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