Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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