susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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