Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
