$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
