Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
