I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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