i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Mom said you looked used
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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