god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
