you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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