Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I have so many feelings about this burrito
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
