Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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