So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
