I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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