There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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