just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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