He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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