K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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