i need an iv and a liver transplant
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you win again, gameday.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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