quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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