i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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