There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my being single is dangerous.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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