some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
