no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
