This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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