As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
