whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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