actually, I'm a sock model
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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