pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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